It's always sad when marriages don't work. :-(

It's especially sad for children. On balance, it's probably a good thing that this has happened when their daughter is only two.

I'd like to live in a world where far more marriages work. But that world has a much more inclusive economy.

>>But that world has a much more inclusive economy

what do you mean by that?

what do you mean by that?

I am given to understand - by a friend who is a divorce lawyer - that, by a significant margin, the two most prominent causes of marital break-up are:

a) bad relations with in-laws
b) the state of household finances

Economic events like redundancy, company downsizing, unions going on strike, company collapse, industry collapse, market collapse, inflation, stagnation, unserviceable debt, negative equity, interest rate falls and rises, recession, depression, real estate prices, failure of investments, gambling addiction and many more can damage household finances to the extent that they lead to marital breakup.

I would not expect shortage of finances are an issue for one half of the couple: Perhaps it's about how much is shared. But, really, how much does one need? After the first billion it really isn't worth counting. ;)

>> the state of household finances

Stress over finances may trigger the desire to split, but divorce often causes financial complications of its own so it's not an easy answer. Not to mention other complications! I would encourage stressed-out couples to get some advice from a financial planner because if they could work out a realistic financial survival strategy there might be less need for the divorce lawyer.

divorce often causes financial complications of its own so it's not an easy answer

I don't think divorce is an answer to household finance problems at all; divorce is almost certainly going to make most people's financial situation worse. But, if I understand correctly - and this is all quite tragic - in the instances where financial difficulties precipitate a marital split, the state of the finances engenders a toxic atmosphere and the divorce / separation is a bid to escape that atmosphere.

I would encourage stressed-out couples to get some advice from a financial planner because if they could work out a realistic financial survival strategy there might be less need for the divorce lawyer.

That sounds like excellent advice.

I would not expect shortage of finances are an issue

Agreed. I doubt this particularly divorce has much to do with household finances.

@ronin

ok, i see, although in the UK the number one reason is adultery (in uk all divorces are similar to what is called 'no fault' in the us)

i take your points - although i don't see how 'more inclusive economy' fits into what you said. i probably misunderstood what you meant by that phrase.

to all at WebmasterWorld may all your marriages be long and strong!

in the UK the number one reason is adultery

This is interesting - it doesn't accord (precisely) with what I'd been told before (though, admittedly, that was 15 years ago... though that may not make any discernible difference) but I'm always keen to learn, so I went over to the ONS (Office of National Statistics) to see if they had any data.

It turns out they do:

Unreasonable behaviour was the most common reason for wives petitioning for divorce among opposite-sex couples in 2020, accounting for 47.4% of petitions; for husbands, the most common reason for divorces was a two-year separation, accounting for 34.7% of divorces followed by 33.8% for unreasonable behaviour.

Source: [ons.gov.uk...]

I wanted to understand what falls into the category of Unreasonable behaviour and, yes, it definitely includes marital infidelity:

- Domestic Abuse
- Emotional Abuse
- Family Disputes
- Excessive gaming / social media use
- Debts / Financial Recklessness
- Inappropriate relationship with another person
- Verbal abuse, shouting or belittling
- Lack of socialising together
- Drunkenness
- Lack of Support (general / emotional / practical, including housework)
- Spending more time with pet than with spouse
- Refusing to talk about marital problems
- Working long hours away from home

ah, my apologies, i took the data off of a lawyer's website that specialised in divorce - maybe they had their own agenda to say that infidelity was the most common reason.

although looking at that, the most common reason was a two year separation - so that could have been anything including infidelity. perhaps it is easier to get a divorce after a two year separation, or rather perhaps after that it is allowed even if one partner doesn't want to divorce.

This is "FOO" after all:

Seems like common sense would prevent a lot of divorces.
But, then, it would've prevented a lot of marriages, too.

A very rich couple got divorced and their lawyers lived happily ever after.

People call it adultery or Or irreconcilable differences or household finances but I'm willing to bet that the root of both of those reasons is simply the difficult task and burden of raising a child.

Raising a kid can be fun and rewarding but it's also one of the most stressful things a human can set out to do.