Tried that once or twice. End result was there was apparently a reason contact was lost in the first place.

Don't worry about it these days. Too many new folks to meet, new things to do, and---living in the past and trying to recreate it is not the same as having been there, done that, had the joy of it the first time around (even if there was no joy, just getting along).

Besides, it is kind of depressing to see that I have not only out lived my peers, some of them turned out to be stinkeroos---or worse!

Keep pegging away at it. Sometimes you'll get a polite response with a clear sense that they've no interest in renewing ties; sometimes it's radio silence; sometimes you'll reawaken old friendships. (Voice Of Experience.) Remember that one person you couldn't stand in college, and you're pretty sure they never realized it? There are undoubtedly people who secretly couldn't stand you, and just hoped you'd eventually figure it out. But the successes are worth the rebuffs.

:: obvious mental association, leading to detour to library catalog to confirm that they have all seasons (including the silly ones) of Last Tango in Halifax ::

Essex_boy: has anyone done this and what was the outcome ?

Yes, I tried.
And I stopped.
Even blocked some people online.

I'll begin with the soft story, about one or two years, an old scout instructor tried to find us all, the old team, his plan was to make a nice reunion, I agreed, BUT I told him about some sour experiences coming across some of our old buddies. But he was optimist and insisted, and I cooperated. Some people was hard to find, some died (young), some didn't want to meet with specific old friends, and some didn't want to be found at all.

Sadly... many are living very sad lives, separated, divorced, terrible jobs, living in ugly places or at least UGLY regarding what people thought were they would live "in the future", what they should have become; in my opinion some have depression, some have it worse in terms of mental health, one was suicidal, someone just found out his last son wasn't his and his wife was cheating, and MOST IN GENERAL WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT MONEY (wanting it, craving it), to me this is intoxicating. At the end of the journey we talked (with the old instructor, just the 2 of us) and we agreed most didn't want to be seen because in their own minds they were a failure and didn't want to be judged.

On diff circles this wasn't so different: some ex friends trying very hard to appear successful or wealthy (they are not), or just talking about brands and trips to places, some trying to disguise their mental health issues, one in particular out of the blue showed me videos where he (I can't say this on this forum) and I was literally in shock.

Found some ex girlfriends and I was also shocked, some were not happy at all, one in a divorce process, 3 of them actively flirting with me trying to ... how do I say it? no, they didn't want a relationship, they wanted an adventure (I was single back then, they were not), I would have never imagine them trying to have an adventure.

You might not believe the things I've seen, or perhaps you would because it seems these things are quite common.

I'm happy to say hi to friends, ex friends, coming across them, talking a bit, but I'm very careful now and I don't expect to reignite a past interaction. And sadly I had to block people and stop talking because I have to protect my social-bubble, my well being.

I mean... you can't just let anyone in your life.
And being old friends doesn't mean you can do that at all, you might want to be careful getting to know this person again, from scratch, as a stranger because you don't know where they have been, or how. Sounds terrible, right?

People change over time: They have different interests from when they were younger; while some like to reminisce, some don't. They have families and a different group of friends, and may no longer share the views you currently hold.
Don't expect a warm welcome from everyone, and tread carefully.

Kind of have the opposite problem. For 35 years I taught 50+ students per week (thousands of individuals) music on 15 instruments and remain pleasantly surprised when, decades later, they look me up to say thanks for the music, etc. Those kinds of things I don't mind. Me? I often wonder about folks in my past, but rarely track anyone down.

I found "friends" tracking me down (and others), just to talk about their now current religion, or business in hopes that some of us would buy something.

This year found an interesting article wondering/exploring why many friendships don't survive after the couples have kids. We have discussed this a lot with my wife because it's quite annoying. It's not uncommon to come across families where their old kids are still breastfeeding or baby bottles, or using diapers, or can't talk because of lack of stimulation. This often results in pressure by their parents over you to act like this is normal and "accept it" as common behavior. And talking about it often turns ugly, so, many times it's like "oh, nice to see you, bye" after detecting the issues.

Normally, people should embrace being informed of something being out of the ordinary in order to correct it, but the contrary is often the case. My sister became a professional in learning/communication issues and therapy (the title is more clever in Spanish), and she had to deal with lots of parents with no-talking kids, or kids who just made noises, in order to tell them this is not normal. Parents usually end up in therapy with their kids after a long list of rejecting friends comments and reality.

An ex had a kid who didn't talk, and around 5 made dog noises (like smelling something), well... that's obviously a conversation we couldn't continue. Same goes to the mental health department, when you find out your old friends are stuck in politics, religion, or hoarding, <- God!, that's more common than you would imagine.

Very interesting comments, most are exactly what Ive had happen when I found someone from the past, any way I found the ex-girlfriend....

This was weird, her father had been successful in dragging the family up from solid working class to a comfortable middle class existence, I recall EX GF asking me do I think she is middle class way back in 1989 an odd question to honest.

So she was found, which I didnt expect to happen - found after 35 years.

She owns her own house on a grotty council estate in a poverty stricken area in the Midlands, crime is fairly high, married to a Japanese guy - we split up as I didnt want to move to Japan with her, she went and got what she wanted (I suspect) a Japanese husband.

Work wise, shes doing a minimum wage job, more distressingly she looked very tired and worn out and seriously over weight - I just wanted to put my arms around her and tell her alls going to be ok, just come back with me, it really was quite an upsetting sight and deep down she knew it.

Will I see her again? Suspect not but Id like too. I remember she had a pathological hatred of garden gnomes, so I may just by 20 or so and leave them positioned on her front garden with a note from me. Jury is still out on that one.

So did she succeed in what she wanted as a teenager? Doubtful if she did then its at the lowest point of her ambitions.

6 years ago we started a WhatsApp group chat and invited everybody from our school-mates. Many people joined, some did not due to the fact that everybody lost their contacts with them, or better said they lost contact with every body.

We spent more than 6 month looking for 3 guys that were not unpopular sort of speak, but trouble-makers sort of speak. After a while we found them and they became part of an international community of good 'ol gang of school!

22 people joined. Everything was awesome. People started visiting each other in EU, US, Central Asia(this is where we went to school for 10 years).

We celebrated 22 Birthdays a year all over the world, most of the time over video calls-parties! We supported each other during hardships of loosing family members during COVID.We knew each other's spouses, kids, parents, gardens, travel destinations. We knew what everybody is @iching about almost on Daily Bases. We sent flowers for our parents funerals and something something extra something-somthing for our children's/ grand-children's graduation parties, weddings... Hell, we bought someones son a set of new tires, and that was fun!

...and then the WAR started on 02.24.2022. :(

Those who were outside of Old USSR are still in touch. Most of those that are still back within are ether do not want to or can not or scared @hitless about what if they do.....

The 3 of those we were searching for:

First: Turned on everybody in the chat and started posting Z Swastikas and all other kinds of garbage propaganda. Joined Russian Army on a contract, killed 2 weeks later, body never recovered.

Second: Went MIA for about 6 month, almost drinking himself to death as we later found out. Joined Russian Army as a contract killer. Pushing Daisies.

Third: The meanest BULLY in the class, Russian Air-force Combat Operations Pilot. Shot himself in the head. We later found out from his wife that his last words were --- Not Another Aleppo...

So, gruesome, but it brought us back together in a smaller tight and friendlier community, and we will meet again. There is more to this story, but....

Hmm, not looking for old friends but I tried to make new ones.

My real name is fairly average, something like James Moses.

I decided to contact everyone I could find on the internet with the name James Moses.

It wasn't hard, there were bucket-loads of James Moses's online.

Initially I just contacted about 25 (saying things like hey great name!) but a problem arose with my master plan, they started to respond to my emails and all of a sudden I found I had an in tray of perhaps 30 messages all from James Moses. I had 30 odd James Moses and it became tricky to tell them apart! Which James Moses was this one, which that etc etc

Such was my confusion I had to abandon my plan :(

I remember one meeting catching up with old friends, then someone suggested "everyone, talk about your life, all around the table", and they did.

The problem is, everyone was on such bad places, the next one being on a similar place was an excuse to celebrate: they hated their jobs, their relationships, their kids (but yeah, they described them as blessings), broke, etc. With one friend... we made signs across the table, and when it was our turn, instead of sharing our simple average life, we synced saying "yeah work sucks, everything sucks" and people cheered.

I never showed up to any of the meetings. But thanks to other friends, I've been informed on how everyone is doing, well... most people are doing pretty bad.

These things always remind me of a teen comedy film I watched years ago, at the end of the film they defeat the enemy, but then the movie make pauses showing the picture of everyone "Loi, started a pharma business, but became addicted to medicine, ended up in a comma", "John, the clown of the class, was never seen again", etc.

I have friend from my days as a sailor, a former shipmate. A nice enough person who insists on reliving our glory days. I'm kind of over those days - there's enough going on in my life to keep me in the present. And I'm not very interested in who has passed away and who is living where or doing what - I've never contacted any of them nor have they reached out to me. I've been going to A.A. for decades and one of the earliest issues I faced was "what about all my friends?" Interestingly enough, I haven't heard from any of them in all these years. I stopped drinking and drugging and they dropped me like a hot potato.

I'm not as sour as all the above might sound. I have a cat who sometimes adores me. I have a raft of friends who all have a number of ideas and activities of thier own. I keep myself busy rather than sit in front of a television all day, waiting for the phone to ring. I have a life, and I enjoy it. And I hope that if any of my past associations are still living, that are are doing the same.

I have a cat who sometimes adores me.

With cats, “sometimes” counts as a win.

I tracked down another friend from College, nice guy and very intelligent; He is a now an alcoholic that wont make old age, his best mate is has spent at least 9 years in prison for violence towards women.

My and another friend stayed with him for a few hours on the way back she said 'Why did we bother?' .

I guess we tracked him down as, in our own minds, time stands still what was funny and great at 20 isnt when you reach 53.

Even more pronounced when you're 75. (sigh)

@Tangor, wait till you are 83. I suspect the "pronouncing" effect is greater than just 'linear with age', maybe a low power function. It's not exponential, at least not yet!

I don't try to relive the old days with my friends, but I do tell stories to my grandchildren. Whether they believe me or not is hard to say, as they sometimes have trouble understanding what life was really like back then. But that's another subject.

hey grandpa .. any friend of Bill is a friend of mine! IYKYK

i agree, the past is the past ... personally i look to now, the future and being comfortable with the person i am.

@Mark_A: ---It wasn't hard, there were bucket-loads of James Moses's online.---

I registered a Domain Name 26 years ago with my Last Name as in mylastname.com.

9 people(same last name, not relatives) are renting their-first-name@mylastname.com email boxes at this point.

;)

Did all those nine people just randomly make contact and ask if they could use a mailbox?

I wasn't sure where to post this, but this topic will do.

I was having a huge problem with mischief at my signup forms... lots of subscription requests were being made that get an email from our server requiring confirmation. At first I couldn't understand why, but then realised that it was generating a lot of unwanted mail which could be reported as spam.

So I reconfigured the web form requirements which slowed it down, but looking for a better solution, I did some research into fingerprinting. Unfortunately fingerprinting is useless if JavaScript or cookies are disabled, so then I started developing a solution that didn't rely on JS. I am still working on that to make it more unique, but my problem stopped suddenly when...

Posting on WebMasterWorld that I had developed a fingerprinting solution that was not dependent on JavaScript or cookies!

I've found that you meet a lot of old friends at funerals
as you get older the number of weddings goes down, and the number of funerals goes up