Forum Moderators: rogerd
I run a niche message board. The target audience is mostly older women. A lot of whome are retired and/or on disability.
The theme of the board is a specific craft, and it has a "random talk" section for general discussions.
Because of the demographics, a large portion of topics posted in that section has to deal with someone's relatives dying or getting sick. Or about user's own health issues. All that in addition to discussions about other life's problems. It seems that some members enjoy either starting or participating in such types of conversations, with as much graphic detail as possible.
Some of the stuff in there would make a grown man cry. Imagine having to read topics like that day after day. That really messes up with the community's morale.
I understand that it's life. Bad things happen. I'm not some insensitive assclown. But when you have thousands of people all venting in the same place, you'll see a lot of horrible stuff described that happens in life.
This is enough to cause a depression for anyone reading.
The board is becoming a truly dark place, and I don't know what to do about it.
I don't want to simply delete posts like that. After all, people truly need help and they communicate with the new friends they made of the board.
But the amount of dark stuff posted on the board keeps growing. If I don't do anything, it will be one rotten place.
Recently, some members started making comments about the state of things to me in private. Everyone is trying to be polite, but such remarks just reinforce what I already knew.
People come to my board to learn about a specific craft, not to read about someone dying because of diabetes or someone getting to old and too weak to walk or ... well you get the point.
I have no idea how to approach this. One part of me wants this problem to just go away somehow. But at the same time, I feel truly bad for people who post about their sorrows.
Did anybody have to deal with something like that?
Thanks for understanding and best wishes for a speedy recovery." Hmmm, that does seem a bit insensitive.
My thought would be to segregate all such posts to an off-topic forum. If necessary, create an subforum for some categories of post. You might even try to say that due to comments from many long-time members, posts relating to death, illness, suicide, and any other problematic topics you want to add won't be allowed under the TOS. These should be private matters. You might even throw out the idea that you have legal concerns based on HIPAA which is very strict about medical privacy (though I doubt that it would have any relevance to someone voluntarily releasing their own info).
Good luck, let us know what you come up with and how it works.
I was in a similar situation where I was encouraging political posts in the off topic section as that keeps them coming back. Issues inevitably arose with the troll type posts and the mud slinging commonly found on may political forums. What I did was create a hidden forum with group permissions they can voluntarily join without the need for approval, a anything goes type atmosphere and laid down some heavy rules for the public off topic section.
It's been pretty successful for the most part, off topic has been cleaned up of the "garbage" posts because they know they will get warned or banned and they can't complain because they know there is area to post that type of stuff.
My thought would be to segregate all such posts to an off-topic forum.
It's already in the off-topic forum. But many users frequent it because it contains a lot of personal discussions, jokes, news, etc.
I believe it was actually quite helpful to him as he was able to get it off his chest and talk about it.
That's the reason I'm having second thoughts about putting a stop to it. I believe people feel (a little bit) better after posting and reading sympathetic replies. But at the expense of making other people (a little bit) worse.
I was in a similar situation where I was encouraging political posts in the off topic section as that keeps them coming back.
I had a similar thing with religion, in addition to politics. But that was easy. I made the rule that politics and religion are off limits on the board.
I explained that such topics always end up in a fight.
The religious posts were a bit harder to deal with, as some people were trying to make a point that they can post whatever they want "in the name of ..." whatever they believe in. And they just kept pushing.
Some even called for creating a payer sub-forum. But eventually, I was able to calm this whole thing down.
With sickness, that's a different thing. I doesn't cause disturbance and fighting among members like religion and politics. So there is no valid reason to prohibit such posts. In addition, most of the people who post such stuff are not trolls. So it's harder to feel good about dealing with them.
What I did was create a hidden forum with group permissions they can voluntarily join without the need for approval, a anything goes type atmosphere and laid down some heavy rules for the public off topic section.
That might work, but my forum software doesn't have such function. And I can't upgrade right now.
To tell you the truth, I've never seen such "problem" on other forums that I frequent as a user.
Maybe I'm just not aware of the stuff that goes behind the scenes. But it's all really disturbing.
I do think that you could post something on the boards, reminding people that sometimes these things should be taken to private conversation, and that it is very difficult for members to remain positive in the current environment...you don't need to target it specifically at the sickness threads, something like
"Notice to all members
I wanted to thank all of the members of the forum for the continued friendship and support you all show each other, especially at a time when so many are facing financial difficulty, as well as the every day strains and struggles that all of us face in our day to day lives.
Please can everyone bare in mind when posting to this forum, that Xcraft is an escape from these stresses and strains, and while the moderators don't want to stop you posting for support about issues you may be facing, we do ask that the tone of discussions is kept positive. Remember there may be members reading who may be upset by some threads, and we would ask that all members be mindful of this, especially in the current, difficult times we are all facing.
With that in mind, the mods will be starting to send private messages to people, should the tone of threads become such that we feel members could be disturbed or distressed by any thread, this will just be a gentle nudge for members to guide the conversation in a positive way, we don't want to stop discussion, merely help the forum to continue as a place of escape from every day life, and a place for friends to meet up and forget their other worries for a while.
Thank you again for your continued support and the friendship you all offer through this forum"
Leave the thread open for people to comment, but I think you will be surprised at how supportive people will be.
That might work, but my forum software doesn't have such function.
phpbb3 has it out of the box. ;) The permission set is quite powerful and a little daunting at first but you can narrow permissions down to individual users.
It's already in the off-topic forum. But many users frequent it because it contains a lot of personal discussions, jokes, news, etc.
if it's already classified as off-topic, you may want to allow it and ensure that these topics are strictly kept there.
remember the more you let people be transparent, the more prospective users will want to join your community finding people who are more like them. moreover, if this is a recurring topic, you may want to arrange an event that helps people cope with such issues by developing their craft maybe in honor of a lost loved one, or postings on studies where people that engage in this craft are more mentally active and less prone to disease.
